Trump Stupidly Self-Owns on Pandemic Deaths

Ever since the first death from COVID-19, President Donald Trump has brayed like a howler monkey getting a tree branch stuck up its ass about how allegedly terrible President Obama handled the H1N1 outbreak in 2009-10. On a daily basis, we have heard about how the incompetent fuck-ups in the Obama administration personally went out and murdered, depending on the day, between 12,000 and 18,000 people with the swine flu. (The 12,000 is roughly the number the CDC came up with; the 18,000 is the upper estimate of U.S. deaths from H1N1.)

On March 5, Trump tweeted, "Gallup just gave us the highest rating ever for the way we are handling the CoronaVirus situation. The April 2009-10 Swine Flu, where nearly 13,000 people died in the U.S., was poorly handled." Watch what happens with that number as the weeks go on. 

On March 12, he decided to make it as political as possible, tweeting, "Sleepy Joe Biden was in charge of the H1N1 Swine Flu epidemic which killed thousands of people. The response was one of the worst on record." For the record, Joe Biden was not in charge of the response to the swine flu.

Praising himself (as he has done over 100 times on the coronavirus response) on March 13, Trump said, "Interestingly, if you go back — please — if you go back to the swine flu, it was nothing like this. They didn’t do testing like this. And actually, they lost approximately 14,000 people. And they didn’t do the testing. They started thinking about testing when it was far too late." Reminded that the Obama administration had tested over a million people by the same point during the H1N1 crisis, Trump retorted pissily, "Ask them how they did with the swine flu. It was a disaster."

On March 17, Trump once again offered a middle finger to the previous administration: "If you look at swine flu — the whole thing in, I guess it was 2009, and what they did and the mistakes they’ve made, they were terrible. They were horrific mistakes. Seventeen thousand people died. And I’ll be honest, they shouldn’t be criticizing because we’ve done a fantastic job."

This very week, on April 7, he seemed to sense what was coming and moved the goal posts: "Take a look at the swine flu.  Right?  That’s H1N1.  Take a look at that.  And it’s not the other way around, by the way.  It’s H1N1.  Take a look — you know what I mean by that.  Take a look at the swine flu.  It was a disaster; 17,000 people died.  The other administra- — they didn’t even know — it was like they didn’t even know it was here.  And that was peanuts compared to what we have, in terms of the power, the magnitude of what we’re going through.  This is attacking 182 countries, simultaneously." For the record, according to the CDC, 214 countries had H1N1 cases simultaneously.  

Still, even as he hiked the death stat, from 13k to 14k to 17k now, it's like Trump understood that the metric he had been using as an indicator of the "disaster" of Obama's response was about to be lapped by COVID-19. 

And guess what, motherfucker? Today, the number of deaths in the United States has topped 18,000, the upper number in the estimates of H1N1 deaths. That's a goddamn self-own right there, bitch. If this cockzit had any shame at all, he'd be out there flogging himself, weeping and blubbering, "I'm the disaster. I'm the debacle. I'm the mistake. I'm the worst." But he won't. 

And fuckin' no one will hold him to account for his constant slanderous debasement of the Obama record. In a just world, Barack Obama would get to punch Trump in the dick every time the bloated tangerine of hate talked shit. But, no, no, we have to pretend to be dignified when dick-punching would be more appropriate. 

This is the shit that Trump's been allowed to skate on. He repeats a lie so fucking often that it's the only thing even semi-rational people believe. Like the one that's gotten in my craw and plunged in its nails. Trump says over and over that he "shut down" travel from China early in the coronavirus outbreak. He says he "closed the border" and shit like that. Except he fucking well didn't. Read his own fuckin' proclamation on it. It applied to "all aliens who were physically present within the People’s Republic of China...during the 14-day period preceding their entry." And there were a shit-ton of exceptions, including Americans and people with green cards, spouses and children of Americans and people with green cards, and many other categories.  It's like saying, "I've decided to be celibate. I'm not gonna do anal anymore, but blow jobs and firm handies are always welcome." And when those 40,000 or so exceptions to the ban came back into the U.S. from China, they faced almost no health checks. 

On top of the general lie about the "ban," the date it started, which was on February 2 in the U.S., was two weeks after the first confirmed case in Washington state. The fucking virus was already here. So the sieve of a shutdown of Chinese travel had virtually no effect, despite Trump constantly saying that he himself saved "millions of lives." No, that was the social distancing and hospitalizations. Oh, and one more thing: Trump didn't issue the "ban" until the day after the WHO declared COVID-19 an international health emergency. That's right. Mr. Blame-the-WHO took his cues from the organization.

Look, this motherfucker, this loser of a president, this despicable, soul-free, degraded carcass of something that appears human, he's trying to spin shit every which way so that he escapes blame, again, for something that is his and solely his responsibility. He'll blame the WHO, Democrats and impeachment, governors, Obama, fuck, I'm sure Hillary will get in there at some point. 

But it should never take away from the truth: He failed. He is failing. He is a failure. He will be a failure. He needs to wear his failure like a hair shirt for the rest of his miserable and hopefully imprisoned life. If Trump can slip away from any kind of comeuppance for this murderous ruin and wreckage, this country is even more fucked than it seems. 

Trump: Ivanka Created 10% Of All US Jobs

On Tuesday, President Trump hosted a call with business leaders to discuss efforts to provide financial relief to small businesses. During that call, he made an astounding claim: that his daughter Ivanka personally created 15 million jobs.

To put this claim in perspective, as of January — before the coronavirus pandemic caused the US economy to start hemorrhaging jobs — about 152 million people in the United States were employed, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

So Trump is claiming that his daughter created about 10 percent of all the jobs in the United States. Ivanka has apparently been working overtime in recent months: During an event last November, Trump claimed that his daughter has “gotten jobs for” 14 million people.

Fuck Jared Kushner

There's a certain kind of Ivy League college graduate who is just a total wad of fuck. Usually, they come from inherited wealth, are legacy admissions, and barely had to do any work the entire time they were in school because they have never had to any kind of work. I've had my run-ins with these louche fucks who believe that every word out of their inbred idiot mouths is a gold coin of wisdom and not a dingleberry of nonsense.

I'm remembering a Princeton microbiology major at an Atlanta pool hall telling me how the way I was doing archival research was wrong. I asked him if he had ever crawled around an attic at a local library, opening boxes that hadn't been opened in decades. That didn't matter, he said, because it was much easier than his work so my problems were easy to solve and I should just listen to him. It wasn't worth arguing with the cockflea, whose advice was worth a cockflea's piss. I ignored him until he tried to convince my date to leave with him and then there was a fistfight and then we got kicked out of the pool hall and when someone told me he died of a brain aneurysm a few years later, I said, "Guess his work was too hard for him."

This is a long way of saying, "Fuck Jared Kushner. Fuck him hard. Fuck him with his Harvard degree. Fuck him with every implement available to fuck him with and then invent a few more and fuck him with those."

Donald Trump's wan, soft-voiced, soft-skinned, creepy-as-fuck and evil-as-hell son-in-law, who probably describes boning Ivanka in detail for Trump, either gets tossed into whatever issue Trump is too paranoid to actually ask an expert to get involved in - Israel/Palestine peace negotiations, the opioid crisis- or, more likely, he's gotten a whim about something and thinks he can solve it. More than probably, he's figured out an angle on how to profit from it.

So when this ghost of a serial killer showed up at yesterday's daily Trump circle jerk in front of the media, it was to get tons of shit wrong, belittle people who know better than him, and actually drain whatever remained of hope in this hopeless age. By the time he was finished with his brief spiel, you could sense the coronavirus itself licking its lips at all the Americans it was going to get to kill.

Here's what Kushner said about his job on the coronavirus task force: "What the President asked is that all of the recommendations that we make be based on data." That seems like as innocuous a statement as one could make, but think about it. Were they not making recommendations based on data? What the fuck were they making recommendations based on? I think they are actually this stupid, all of them, everyone remotely fucking associated with the Trump family, all mutated by privilege and a false sense of their own intelligence and general worth as human being.

Why are we putting up with this? Why are Democrats not shrieking with outrage, "What the fuck does a shitty real estate developer know about epidemiology?" The reaction to Jared Kushner being trotted out to throw in some corporate bullshit-speak should have been for Benjamin Franklin's skeletal corpse to show up and beat him with a femur right when he said, "The President also wanted us to make sure we think outside the box." Motherfucker, we're dying here. The box is a goddamn coffin.

Kushner blathered on with cliches about "innovative solutions" and, really, "leave no stone unturned," and he turned to the real villains in the alibi the Trump administration is coming up with for its criminally-cruel abandonment of its basic duties to protect Americans: It's those motherfucking governors' fault. They're out of their league. They don't understand their jobs. He said that some governors "don’t know what’s in their state" when it comes to medical supplies and ventilators, an accusation that he offered no support for.

Then he tossed in, "What a lot of the voters are seeing now is that when you elect somebody to be a mayor or a governor or a president, you’re trying to think about who will be a competent manager during the time of crisis.  This is a time of crisis, and you’re seeing certain people are better managers than others." This brainless dipshit has no idea how much he was talking about his hulking, moronic father-in-law who still thinks people give a single rat fuck about his popularity.

Then he accused governors of "asking for things that they don’t necessarily need at the moment," which, no shit, bitch. That's called "planning ahead," something the Trump administration didn't fucking do at all. And Kushner said about the Strategic National Stockpile of medical supplies: "the notion of the federal stockpile was it’s supposed to be our stockpile; it’s not supposed to be state stockpiles that they then use." Or "Fuck you. Buy your own shit, blue states."

So, just to get this straight, it's up to the states to solve the problems, but if the states want materials from the National Stockpile, they shouldn't get it because that's "our stockpile." Putting aside that it sounds like Trump is hoarding shit for him and his awful family, it seems like Kushner is saying that the federal government will decide who gets it, but that would seem to require that the states have a say, except that they don't, although they are on their own. Or something.

By the way, the website for the SNS used to say, "When state, local, tribal, and territorial responders request federal assistance to support their response efforts, the stockpile ensures that the right medicines and supplies get to those who need them most during an emergency." After yesterday, it was Jared-ized to say the stockpile "is to supplement state and local supplies during public health emergencies. Many states have products stockpiled, as well."

Every time it seems like Trump couldn't make things worse, he makes them worse. He has the worst, most incompetent fucknuts around. And they all believe that they are smarter and better than they are. Their failure to see what failures they all are is literally killing us now.

And fucking Jared is now in the middle of it. Jared Kushner is a pile of shit who thinks it's a man, and until someone steps on him and wipes him off their shoes, he'll always think he's more than a foul lump of excrement.