Ted Cruz Replaces Daughter for Presidential Campaign Run 

Ten days after taking the stage at Liberty University with his family to announce his candidacy for president, Ted Cruz has announced he will replace his 5 year-old daughter Caroline for the duration of his campaign.

The announcement of the switch was made shortly after the Republican Senator appeared at a fundraiser with his new daughter, a pretty, effervescent girl named Maria Alejandra.

A statement issued by the Cruz read, in part: "The decision to give Maria Alejandra this opportunity represents the culmination of an antipragmatic-oriented deliberative process prioritizing demographic trafficability of our candidate's nuclear family unit, and in no way suggests a lack of affection for his birth daughter Caroline on the part of Senator Cruz."

Still, many are speculating that Caroline was relieved of her daughterly duties for her reluctance to smile in public and an inability to hit her marks during rallies. Others have pointed to an incident that occurred backstage at the Liberty announcement where cameramen caught her picking her nose.

"The truth is, Caroline is a sullen little frowny face, and she bums people out," political analyst Michael Berman remarked, "Senator Cruz still has a white daughter, and now also has a cute, bubbly Latina that could potentially serve him well in swing states like Florida and New Mexico."

In her first tweet on the campaign trail, Maria Alejandra wrote that she loves quesadillas, piñatas, and favors a flat tax system that would promote innovation and economic growth.